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WING Leaders

DeMarcus

Was I Wrong?

by DeMarcus on October 6, 2015

in Campus Community

Lately I think my friends think that I’ve been ignoring them, which isn’t the case. I have just been trying to adjust to my new major and have a mind of my own. Since August 9th, we have spent almost every waking moment together. By any means this isn’t a bad thing, I was just starting to feel that my individual self was being overshadowed. While I was trying to break away from the group, they were still holding on. I am an introvert and we need our time to regroup and focus on our goals. Given that I am an Orientation Leader, I had to be “on” for a total of 3 weeks and by the middle of September I was worn out. Granted, I didn’t have to be “on” I just wanted to make sure the freshman were well acquainted on campus before I could be with the crowd.

During week 1, my friends and I were merry and full of cheer until I noticed that we were all attaining different personal goals. In result of this, I saw the need to separate myself from the group. According to the Knapp’s Relation Development Model, my friends were at the differentiating stage while I was still at bonding. As I was learning this in class, it triggered something in me. Had I come to point in my life where all of my friends had something going for themselves and I didn’t for myself? Was I not being supportive like I should have been? That moment sent me on the verge of a breakdown. My anxiety, of not having my life in order, went crazy. In the span of two days I had a total of 8 espresso shots and an outstanding amount of caffeine to calm my nerves. I hadn’t experienced anything like that in my life. I had to call my best friend Jeremy to make sure I wasn’t going insane, which I was. When I asked him he told me to get over it. So I tried to get past this feeling, but my attitude had changed in how I behaved around my friends.

Going into week 2, I tried to be supportive of my friends’ life goals but I couldn’t. By this point, caffeine wasn’t the answer instead I went shopping at Target. We all know that you shouldn’t walk into a Target when vulnerable. In result of that, I spent $100. Not only did I leave still feeling empty, but also broke. So now I’m thinking about how I am going to make it through the week with very little funds and how I can be a better friend. To buy myself some time, I started hanging out with other people. My friend thought I was leaving them behind, but really I wasn’t. Towards the end of the week I gave up being distant. I realized they needed me but I didn’t see that. For 2 weeks I’ve been walking around blind. Now headed into week 3, I am going to give my friends the personal attention they deserve. I’m Trying! It’s hard being a non-emotional person in group of emotional people.

Next time any one feels as if I’m ignoring you, I’M NOT!! I just need time to regroup and focus. 🙂 Please forgive me?!

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Hey there, fellow Griffins! I’m back for another school year of blogging! I’m so happy I get to share my tips, experiences and advice with you all. I’ll give you a little update on where I’m at currently in my life, because its been a while since my last blog.

I am officially in my third year here at Fontbonne. I moved back on campus the second week of August because I was a freshman orientation leader, or WING Leader. I was one leader out of 18 who helped freshmen transition into college through our orientation program. It was my second year being an orientation leader and I absolutely loved it! I had a great group of students and an awesome partner! Orientation is such a great experience! (Below is a picture of me and my orientation group.)1

After orientation wrapped up, I headed straight into classes which unfortunately I already have a lot of homework in. 🙁 I like all of them so far though, it’s just a lot of work! All of my classes are specifically in accordance with my major, so I am done with general education courses which is a blessing! I don’t have to worry about taking a dreaded science or literature class.

Another thing that has been keeping me busy since I started school is the organization that I am secretary for, Omicron Delta Kappa (ODK). Its a national leadership honor society whose alums includes Joe Biden, Peyton Manning, Sheryl Crow and many more. Our applications to be a member of the group went out the day classes started. Myself and the other executive members and faculty advisors have been working hard on deciding who’s a best fit for the group and when we will inform them of our decision. I think being secretary for ODK will keep me busy all year! (Below is a picture of the 2015-2016 Fontbonne University ODK Executive Team.)

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Those are just a couple of the many things I’ve been doing since I got back to Fontbonne’s beautiful campus! I’m starting to get my schedule down and get back in the swing of things. I can’t wait to blog for you guys this year! Keep checking back each week for one of my new blogs or a post by another blogger!

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