I have always loved performing, and I guess I am decent at it as I did receive a scholarship for performing for my undergrad and I do want to be a theatre teacher. But, if this is my passion, then why haven’t I done it more?
It’s so easy for us to get caught up in work, obligations to our families, sick kids or pets; your car needs to be fixed, and so on. I allowed myself to get caught up in this for the past 5 years. Yes, I have done about one show a year but this is a big change from what I used to commit to. I allowed myself to get caught up in work and I thought this was being successful. I was making money, I was working full time at only 23, and hey, I was able to live on my own and take care of my doggie. That’s success right? But I wasn’t happy. Yes, I had good days, but it wasn’t that magical, happy to go into work every day, type of thing. It was, oh I go into work, don’t really care if I am late or not, and something positive might happen type of thing. That isn’t happiness. I gave up performing as I used to so I could dedicate myself to my job, and with taking night classes, I just didn’t have time. I think I rationalized it by having those night classes which were going towards my dream of teaching.
Now that I am almost done with my degree, and I had to quit my job in order to do my Student Teaching course, I have so much free time. That could be why I am back to doing two shows at a time. I am nervous because my routine of working daily is gone, but I am back to being happy. I have such a great time at rehearsals; it’s amazing I ever let myself not do this!
However, no matter how much fun I have performing, nothing can ever compare to the joy I had teaching! My mom brought up in the car the other day, “What happens if you get a teaching job and its not what you thought it would be?” I immediately was shocked! How could she even think this? I have never felt so filled with purpose, so complete as when I was in the classroom. It was like that Harry Potter wand moment! I didn’t choose teaching, it chose me! Now that I am job searching again, my parents keep suggesting full time jobs that, yes, I am qualified for, but they aren’t in a classroom. I can never go back to doing anything but teaching. I don’t know how people go through their lives doing something they don’t like!
So here is my last piece of advice to you who are here at Fontbonne beginning your lives! Chose something great, chose something that makes you happy and do it! Now, that doesn’t mean if you enjoy playing baseball or volleyball, painting, or pottery, acting or reading, still do that too! Make choices for yourself! I have always found myself to be a selfless person, but this is the time to be selfish. This is the time to choose your career, to choose your destiny and enjoy it!