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Terragan

This semester has done one thing that have shifted my college experience, it allowed me to see my passions. Recently, I’ve been sharing many conversations around campus, with best friends, dear friends, and soon to be dear friends in our affiliated student orgs. I’ve begone to open myself up more to outside ideas about what cause of action would be best and if it lines up with my internal guidelines mentioned in my previous blog post. This shift coincided with recent meetings with Christine Keller about my career prospects. I rediscovered my desire and ability to relate and understand people through sharing my struggles with integrity and lack of strong decision-making.

So I like to talk to people, so what? Basically, everyone has at least one person they can let into their world. I chose to focus on my love of conversation because it’s an outlet to release the bottled up stress and pressure of being a college student who is spread far too thin to be healthy in body and spirit. Conversations help me to steady the ship of friendship facades and life goals.

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This semester, for me, has been plagued with the realization that in just one year, I’ll be graduating from Fontbonne. Now, all students have known that their graduation is 4 years, 3 years, 2 years, right around the corner; however, I have only seen the monolithic decisions that I’ll have to face upon receiving that degree. I’m bringing this up now as I’ve just returned and reflected off of a retreat that was sorely needed. The Rest and Renewal Retreat gave me a brief 24 hrs to stop, relax, and focus on the things that I want to have in my lifelong journey and those things that hitch a ride unwarranted. I was given a chance to see the many faults I have in being true to my: integrity, drive, and faith.

My integrity to do things like attending school events or talking to a friend about possible future plans to hangout. I seem to not be doing things that I have a genuine desire to do, I just do them because I’m asked or feel obligated when I’m not really interested. Growing up, I was told by my parents that I wasn’t capable to play soccer or learn an instrument. Believing this, I followed suit and just stopped asking and let others run my life. I’d been conditioned to listen, not to carry the conversation forward. I tried to fill in the gaps by doing what others wanted, not myself. This retreat made me realize how much I’ve been missing out on in my own life. I’m beginning to take charge and stepped down from positions and posts assigned to me, not ones I’ve chosen.

My drive has always been in question as if it was really mine or just a call to serve my friends. Recently, I’ve seen how attending many events on campus are only alternative means of interaction, in place of just going out for lunch or sitting in the AMC to talk. These events that I once thought to allow deep relationships to form only allow for the superficiality to come in crystal clear. People I once thought of as my best friends rarely speak, telling me it was much more on the surface. This retreat made me see that I desire to be in those smaller, intimate moments of conversation instead of these empty shell congregations.

My faith has been growing over the past year. Attending and helping plan retreats, mass, and choir have given a sense of loving friendship and community that the whole of Fontbonne are unaware of. Our school prides itself on the community that forms between students, but it rarely forms a as a result of the exclusivity that permeates many of our student orgs. Campus ministry is different in that its personal and beautiful. This recent retreats was needed to show me that my faith in community was simply in the wrong place. It was with acquaintances and not friends.

This retreat gave a system shock. I saw the misattribution of what I want in life, who I want in life, and who I want to lead my life. I hope to use these internal guideline to put forward a senior year that is more true to myself and not to others.

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Terragan

Our Mission

by Terragan on February 20, 2017

in Campus Community

Fontbonne and its founding by the Sisters of St. Joseph of Carondelet work to further the common good we all share in our exchanging of values of friends and family and through service. Its hard to find another religious order that has been on the forefront and facilitator of social change outside the CSJs. I, coming from a public school background and wasn’t raised in a particularly religious household, found the work and message spread by Fontbonne and its founders to be universal. Our mission statement is:

“Fontbonne University, a Catholic institution sponsored by the Sisters of St. Joseph of Carondelet, is committed to the common good through the daily pursuit of transformative education, inspiring students to become global citizens who think critically, act ethically and serve responsibly.”

We are to search out the most good for our community and be prepared to learn and act in a way that treats our neighbors with love and respect. One doesn’t have to share the same religious views to understand the CSJ’s message of continuous learning and possessing the gusto to better ourselves…together. Only together can we overcome the challenges to our community.

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Greetings from the other side of space,

My name is Terragan and this will be a platform I’ll be using to get my thoughts out into the space we occupy. I’m a junior studying History and Global Studies and love the frequent question of ‘what I’m going to do with that?’ The easy answer has been to see the world through any number of opportunities, the most reoccurring one would be to serve as a US ambassador. That’d be neat, I guess.

The hard answer is that I really don’t know. Call it my submissive nature but I’m often fickle and can change my whole plan at the drop of a hat, flip of a coin, or by the suggestions made by those that form my community of support. The one thing I know I want in life is to be free, call it a dreamer’s desire, but the option to drop everything and jump on an adventure that can span the width of worlds has been the pillar granite I stand on. Meeting new people on those adventures are That is the wonder I find in life.

More about myself: I like space, both literal and in thought. Breathing room, but close enough for the intimacy and togetherness of life to take hold. I also love to dance…not well, but I’m stubborn on continuing this hobby. I like to dream. Why have your head in the clouds when you can have it amongst the stars?

I’m excited to be able to confide into you all.

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Summertime Reflections and Autumn Desires

by Terragan September 26, 2016

With September 22 being the official start of the fall season, some reflections on the summer and what we want from this welcomed season are in order. The summer fun of going camping, hanging outside with friends, swimming, and all other activities crafted the best I’ve had. Between the group hangouts and the barbecues, Griffin […]

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Confessions of a Commuter

by Terragan September 13, 2016

Hi everyone, I hope that this blog finds you in a good spot on thing we call life. I wanted to highlight something that residential students might have difficulty understanding, just how hard being a commuter to college can be. Now, I’ve been a commuter the previous two years at Fontbonne and over this wide […]

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Students writing for Real Life at Fontbonne are paid a small fee for each post by the university.