escort bayan escort bayan escort escort bayan escort kadikoy escort
Terragan

A Little R and R Never Hurts

by Terragan on March 13, 2017

in College Life,Faith

This semester, for me, has been plagued with the realization that in just one year, I’ll be graduating from Fontbonne. Now, all students have known that their graduation is 4 years, 3 years, 2 years, right around the corner; however, I have only seen the monolithic decisions that I’ll have to face upon receiving that degree. I’m bringing this up now as I’ve just returned and reflected off of a retreat that was sorely needed. The Rest and Renewal Retreat gave me a brief 24 hrs to stop, relax, and focus on the things that I want to have in my lifelong journey and those things that hitch a ride unwarranted. I was given a chance to see the many faults I have in being true to my: integrity, drive, and faith.

My integrity to do things like attending school events or talking to a friend about possible future plans to hangout. I seem to not be doing things that I have a genuine desire to do, I just do them because I’m asked or feel obligated when I’m not really interested. Growing up, I was told by my parents that I wasn’t capable to play soccer or learn an instrument. Believing this, I followed suit and just stopped asking and let others run my life. I’d been conditioned to listen, not to carry the conversation forward. I tried to fill in the gaps by doing what others wanted, not myself. This retreat made me realize how much I’ve been missing out on in my own life. I’m beginning to take charge and stepped down from positions and posts assigned to me, not ones I’ve chosen.

My drive has always been in question as if it was really mine or just a call to serve my friends. Recently, I’ve seen how attending many events on campus are only alternative means of interaction, in place of just going out for lunch or sitting in the AMC to talk. These events that I once thought to allow deep relationships to form only allow for the superficiality to come in crystal clear. People I once thought of as my best friends rarely speak, telling me it was much more on the surface. This retreat made me see that I desire to be in those smaller, intimate moments of conversation instead of these empty shell congregations.

My faith has been growing over the past year. Attending and helping plan retreats, mass, and choir have given a sense of loving friendship and community that the whole of Fontbonne are unaware of. Our school prides itself on the community that forms between students, but it rarely forms a as a result of the exclusivity that permeates many of our student orgs. Campus ministry is different in that its personal and beautiful. This recent retreats was needed to show me that my faith in community was simply in the wrong place. It was with acquaintances and not friends.

This retreat gave a system shock. I saw the misattribution of what I want in life, who I want in life, and who I want to lead my life. I hope to use these internal guideline to put forward a senior year that is more true to myself and not to others.

Keep Reading:

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post:

Students writing for Real Life at Fontbonne are paid a small fee for each post by the university.