I have never really been one to jump outside of my comfort zone; I never really was brought up to. My life has always been very planned, even vacations; we are the family with an itinerary down to the minute. I just thought that’s how it always was! Well, as I have grown up, become my own person, yes, I do love my predictability, but I have learned how much flexibility and spontaneity are important for me to be successful.
I think the first big jump from my comfort zone was going away to college. Yes, I went to a college where I knew some of the people that went there, however, they were graduating that year so we never had classes together and I only would see them maybe in the cafeteria or at rehearsals. I had to meet new people, rearrange my schedule, depend on myself to get my homework done and go where I needed to go without reminders from my parents. This was a huge shock to my system. But after a few months this too becomes routine. Then the next leap: transferring to a graduate program at a different college. Another place to meet people, this time I knew no one, and I now didn’t have the luxury of living on campus I was now a commuter and the classes I was in only had ten people – if that – in them. How would it ever become routine? Well it does.
Student teaching terrified me because yet again, I was leaving my routines, is now in week 10 and I have settled in. I know my schedules, I know my students, I know my peers and I am comfortable. However, this will all end in 2 more weeks. I will be yet again shot into unknown. I have never seen graduation as a happy time; it has always been absolutely terrifying to me. Those routines and bonds you form are shattered the moment you cross that stage. Yes, you should feel proud, but what now? I have a piece of paper in my hands but no clear set routines formed, no bonds in sight. I remember that feeling after my BFA, and it is slowly creeping in yet again. Come May, what do I do then?