I’ve never been very good at balancing work and play, but I’m beginning to learn how. In the past, it’s been work, work, work then be too tired to have any fun.
In early April, I accepted a full-time summer position with one of my favorite families. I agreed to spend over 40 hours at their home Monday thru Friday. The days are long, but the work is fun: arts and crafts, water parks, arcades, movies. As a nanny, working weekends are inevitable, but I promised myself at least one weekend a month of freedom. So far, this has been an easy promise to keep. And everyday I’m happy with my decision to accept the position.
Outside of work, I’ve been soaking up the beauty of being young and single. St. Louis has a wide variety of night-life environments, and I’ve been blessed with a great group of guy friends who make these environments safe and fun for me. They’ll slide their arm around me if some slimeball at the bar is being too slimy, invite out their cute friends, and call the taxi driver at the beginning of the night just-in-case. (They mean more to me than they could ever know.)
Work is good. Social life is good. I’m happy. But, I’m also uneasy.
With happiness comes fear. Fear that the serene feelings I’ve grown accustomed to will disappear.
I move this week and a few new characters have popped up in my life. I’ve worked hard to reach this state and I can’t decide if I’m ready to give anyone or anything the power to disrupt it. I’m comfortable right now.
But, a year’s worth of therapy has taught me that building walls to block out bad feelings also keeps me from feeling anything good.
Is comfortable all it is cracked up to be, or is time to tear down some walls?