I’m done. I have a calc test in the morning, but I can’t bring myself to study for it anymore. Yes, at about the spring break mark I start losing motivation pretty fast. The weather turns! I start running again! Who in their right mind would want to be working on applications of derivatives at such a magical time of the year? And anyway, if the turn of the season isn’t enough of a distraction, I have other things on my mind, as per usual, like the looming question of, “What am I going to do this summer?”
I remember fondly the night over winter break that I threatened to change majors once and for all. My father told me something about getting a job over the summer at a hospital (ugh) to up my shot at a dietetics internship, when I stubbornly announced, “Well, I’m thinking about changing majors, sooo…” (“So that’s not going to happen”, in other words.) And then, quite seriously, maybe three days after I made the Big Change, daddy told me that I needed to get a biology internship in a lab this summer. So I began the dreaded task of filling out online applications (does anybody else hate those things? I always find them so ambiguous.) to a couple of really awesome places that I figured I didn’t have much a shot with. Yes, my dad was convinced I had just as good of a chance at getting a spot at the Danforth Center’s internship as all of those other kids who probably have known all their lives they were destined to be scientists. So I applied. I kept looking around for more opportunities, and excitedly applied for a chemistry internship at Sigma-Aldrich as well.
The other day as I was happily (??) doing my calculus, my other best friend Elizabeth (who claims to be a blogger, but whatever) came in and told me about the interview process she underwent for a computer science internship at Sigma. That’s when it hit me: if I get lucky enough to interview there, it’s going to be hard. They’re not going to ask me to talk about a deadline I had to meet, or what my weakest personality trait is (in addition to hating online job applications, I also hate those types of interview questions as well. I suck at them.). They’re going to ask me super technical questions that may require a calculator. And scratch paper. And help from the Chemistry Gods; namely, Zeus, the dog who wrote my all-time favorite book, “Organic Chemistry”:
I’m scared. I heard back from the Danforth Center several weeks ago about my status in the application process, but nothing from Sigma. Do I have a shot at it? Now that I’m finally starting to feel at home in St. Louis, I want to spend the summer here, as I think it would do wonders for my personal growth. At other times, I feel like it may be nice to lifeguard again. I like being outrageously tan. But living here, on my own…it would push me out of my comfort zone to a new degree, as I ‘d have plenty of time to explore and have fun and do the things I don’t have time to do during the school year (or feel too guilty to do).
I wish I had answers to what was going to happen! But until then, I wait, with my fingers crossed that it all works out for the best. I have a feeling that whatever happens will in fact be what’s best for me. I may not see it at first, but it will be (this is pretty much the story of my life this semester, no?).
Hang in there everyone! You can do it!
“Soft” by Washed Out