I think the title will actually be the topic today.
What on earth is a chicken doing crossing the road? Shouldn’t there be zoning laws on a minimal distance a farmer can keep his chicken house near traffic? Shouldn’t the chickens be in an enclosed area anyway? Or, if it is a free range farm, wouldn’t the pollutants from highway vehicle emissions in close proximity to a farm sort of negate the reason of being free? I used to raise chickens and chickens are content with very little and usually have no need to wander far from the coop, and they usually do not. So, I believe the fault, the catalyst, the influence, the reason of why this poor chicken so desperately wanted to cross the road, lies in the hands of this negligent farmer. He clearly, somehow, caused this fowl to feel foul, thus giving this poor, petrified, poultry a preemptive pause to pacify and peruse the Pacific of his paltry existence. Citizens, we are dealing with capon cruelty. I ask again, why did the chicken cross the road? Why? If you still stutter to state, I will say it for you. This pullet needed to fly the coop and escape the verbal/physical/mental/psychological/emotional/spiritual torment to which he was subjected to on a daily basis!
I think I’ll make fish for dinner.
Remember, I’m pulling for you. We’re all in this together.